Tips on Dialog: Let the Action Identify the Speaker
When writing dialog, the action in the scene often clearly conveys the indentity of the speaker, meaning the literal attribution (she said, she asked) isn't necessary, and can clutter the lines. How could you revise the following dialog to eliminate the attribution verb?
"This kitchen stinks," she said, and walked over to the garbage can to eyeball its contents. "What were you cooking last night, week-old skunk?"
It's clear that the speaker of the dialog is the same person who then walks over to the garbage can to eyeball the contents. The line can lose the attribution and play with greater snap.
"This kitchen stinks." She walked over to the garbage can to eyeball its contents. "What were you cooking last night, week-old skunk?"
Dropping the clunky attribution verb also allows the writer to add another beat, rendering the action in stronger detail.
"This kitchen stinks." She walked over to the garbage can, popped the lid, and eyeballed its contents. "What were you cooking last night, week-old skunk?"
When you read dialog attribution combined with action (she asked and/she said as she) see if it’s possible to cut out the attribution verb and use the action to identify the speaker.